Casting Croutons

Imagine croutons as the important, who's who names that people often toss about. These people often believe it's "who you know," rather than "what you know," that gets you in the door or keeps you in the game. I guess they are the proprietors of cronyism basically. I find humor in people like this, especially when over the course of time the listener realizes that it's the same four or five names that that person keeps bandying about. Also, the names are ones that the crouton-tosser rarely knows in depth, has read extensively, or understands etc. The problem with this is that they continue to sound impressive to most people they meet because of the name tossing. It's only those of us who are around these folks more often that realize what their game is. Have you ever run into anyone like this? Don't get me wrong, I enjoy croutons as much as the next person, but a salad made solely of croutons lacks, shall we say, fiber? substance? Croutons should be a compliment to the salad, working in tandem with the other ingredients, not the sole flavor. Croutons have a tough time masking the lack of other ingredients.

I'm Just Sayin'...

Let's philosophically ponder this photo...
I'm sure there is plenty of documentation out there in marketing classes and whatnot about how grocery stores set up their displays. How they decide what category of food to place next to another. Here's one. And another. And this one, read item #9. Just seems like if you're trying to make healthy choices that this is just one more strike against you.

This Too Shall Pass...

Perhaps I’m the only one that thinks like this, but I doubt it. Yesterday I walked into the restroom at a nicely appointed mega bookstore in my city. I was shocked to hear a woman at least my age – 40ish- talking on her cell phone while she was in the stall. This further surprised me because of the woman’s age, although now that I ponder this, all the times I’ve heard someone talking on their cell phone in the restroom it’s been middle-age-ish women. Hmmm… It also surprised me because the stalls were all occupied. No longer does there remain a final bastion of privacy when outside one’s home.

After noting my surprise , I had this terrible urge…to make incredibly loud, fantastical gas-passing noises that her phone buddy could hear and then know where exactly she was. I believe most folks who talk on the phone while using the facilities do not fess up to their location. But ya know, it’d be hard to misinterpret some sounds, such as the aforementioned and the sound of a spasmodically flushing toilet. Unfortunately, I had never learned to make quality fart noises via my arm-pit, I suppose that’s because I’m female, and I didn’t really want to startle the woman waiting patiently (and quietly) in line behind me so I refrained. But some day, SOME day, I just think it would be hysterical to try and see what ….comes to pass. Not surprisingly, there’s a bunch about this topic out on the web. Here’s one… http://www.snopes.com/embarrass/mistaken/stall.asp

Virtuous Vegetables

Yep. "Morel Mushrooms." Now I've seen it all - "Moral" mushrooms of course would have a much higher price than just regular, mere average mushrooms. Now we know the sale bin in the produce section would be comprised of the "immoral" 'shrooms. Poor things, their poor choices in life just led them down the wrong road... What's next? Righteous rhubarb? Or courteous croutons? Scrupulous squash? When will it end?????

Some of the Most Frightening Words to Hear as a Parent...

"Guess what I just found in the bathroom??????"

My son said this as he returned to the dinner table tonight. My husband and I looked at each other with a fair amount of unabashed fear in our eyes. The things that went through my mind had to do with bodily fluid accidents via one of our 3 pets... I'm afraid to ask what my husband's guess was. Luckily, and with a huge sigh of relief, our son answered his own question when he heard none from us. "A cricket!" Whew. And it was even still alive... imagine that.

Fun at the Book Sale

Somehow I just found this to be really funny as we were somberly purusing the great expanse of tables of books at the local friends of the library book sale today. It makes it seem like the books are children and need looking after. Reminds me of the local pizza place that has a sign that says, "Unattended children will be sold into slavery!" Which I find equally as entertaining since I've never seen them address a child's behavior in the 15 years I've been going there. I guess the sign(s) work!

Horshack!!!!!

I'm sure this phenomenon occurs at home with children, but I see it only at school, I mean, er, work. Today we read Officer Buckle and Gloria to go along with our lessons on plot. Students had their input here and there in the discussion. I called on one young man who was dying to have his say. So, what earth-shattering pithy substance did he share? Here it is...

"I..." mouth twitch "well..." blink, blink, blink "this one time..." changes foot he's sitting on "my dog" hooks index finger inside collar and pulls to twice his head circumference "Can..." squinching up of lips on one side of mouth (cricket sound inserted here.) "they really..." looks at fellow student who is getting SLIGHTLY impatient "do flips like that?"

Then me thinking, "Oh, I'm sorry... you had a question? or a story? You lost me during the eye blinks." I think this was when I began to snore and drool..... Class discussion at this rate goes VERY slowly. Luckily it doesn't happen often. Must've been some glitch in his brain wiring at that moment, 'cause Lawd knows! he chatted NON-STOP the remainder of the day!