give me a hand

things that are hard to do one-handed:

• use the shift key
• blow-dry hair - blow-drying whilst using a brush can just be totally abandoned.
  
• pull up slacks
• wear clothes w/o elastic
• read a dtb (dead tree book)
• hold & read a Nook (& turn pages)
• open items with lids, such as pain meds
  
• fasten a seat-belt
  
• apply shampoo and conditioner in any amount smaller than 1 cup blobs
• applying deodorant
• opening zip-lock bags
• taking off jackets
• rubbing left eye with right hand
  
• kung-foo fighting with 12-year old son
  

so it's probably wise to steer clear of one-handed people until they reaquire the use of both hands. sigh.

Oh Deer!

It's all in perspective. Funny how one's view of things change over time. For years I've seen this image all over the place on the back windows of trucks.
Each time I saw this image I thought it was a dancing figure, maybe on fire, the bottom two lines being the legs. I wasn't sure I was right, but thought maybe it was a company logo. The problem I had with this logo was that I saw the positive space only - the lines of the shape. Whomever created the logo counted on people's brains being able to see the image in the negative space - the white part of the image. Just within the past month I finally saw what Browning, the company this logo represents, meant for me to see - a deer. It's the image of a buck's head facing left and the antlers above. But then most people probably already see that. Just not me. I just found it amusing to have seen this image so often and only recently figured it out. So, what do you see?

Bean-Oh-My!

We were watching TV together a few nights ago. On came a commercial for Bean-o. The commercial announcer said, "It prevents gas!" My 12 year-old son said completely deadpan, "Why would anyone want to prevent gas????" Need I say more?

Language Barrier

My son and I were walking slowly out of the school building yesterday. Darling son was playing his personal gaming device of the moment. A cutie-pie kindergartner walked past us going the opposite direction and I heard him say, "buenos dias" as he walked by. Ah, how sweet I thought to myself - what a groovy, multi-cultural school we have. Sigh with grin.

Of course I said "buenos dias" back to him, albeit a little delayed. My son then looked at me oddly and said in that know-it all middle-schooler tone, "Mom, he said, 'Nice DS!'"

I cackled all the way out of the building, promptly embarrassing the cool middle-schooler with the "nice DS." Maybe time to get my hearing checked??? or take some Spanish lessons!

Middle School Boredom Gone Awry

Today: I'm awaiting my son's arrival at my school via carpool so that I can zip over to a meeting on the other side of town. In walks 12 year old. He is complaining to me about a problem at dismissal, a girl keeps trying to take his bookbag. "Wait. What is on your upper lip?" I say. "Oh, he he he. A mustache." "Why do you have a blue Bic mustache?" Twelve year old responds, "I was bored."

So I finish listening to his story about the bookbag kidnapper. Then I ask him to please get rid of the mustache because we're headed to a education meeting with people I'd like to keep working for and bringing a 12 year old with a blue mustache might not be the best career-advancing move for me. Luckily the mustache did wash off.

I was amused how little the mustache bothered the twelve year old. How strange that an age when most are uber self concious, my son bravely models a blue mustache! I only regret that I was in such a rush to get to the meeting that I didn't take a picture. :-( Would have been great for the "rehearsal dinner photo montage" when/if someday he gets married!

Third Grade Night at the Roxbury

So I'm teaching a lesson in Social Studies up at the board. I finish writing on the board and turn around to see one student in the front of the classroom bobbing his head to a silent beat only beknownst to him. "How odd," I think. I continue my lesson and write something else on the board. A minute later I look back at the class and now there are three students bobbing their heads to the same silent beat. All of a sudden I have a vision of the "Night at the Roxbury" SNL skit. Never mind that these are third graders who are doing the head bobbing and most likely have never seen that skit nor have probably heard of SNL since it's not on Nickelodeon. Here's a link if you need to refresh your memory of SNL days gone by. Needless to say it was hard for me to give those 3 students the evil teacher eye to stop the head bobbing. After class my student teacher and I were able to laugh hysterically about it. Luckily she had seen the SNL skit.

The Many Uses of Ziplock

My 12 year old son returned today from a boy scout camping trip in the frigid cold of the northern outreaches of our state. He came back with almost all of the stuff we sent him off with, and didn't get in trouble, so we decided it was a successful trip. Plus they'll get a polar bear patch because it got below freezing - snowed even. The humor lies (luckily for a change) in the tale of my son's pal. To protect his identity, as I'm sure his parents will appreciate I'll call him "Jay." In the middle of the night last night my son and Jay who were sharing a tent swear they heard either a cougar or bear rubbing up against their tent. (Gee, now maybe they'll take heed when told to not keep any food in their tent!) Poor Jay found himself in the predicament of needing to go to the bathroom and yet too scared to go outside of the tent per the bear or cougar roaming around. So, being the resourceful scout that he is he made quick use of a ziplock bag. The punchline is that he toted the bag full of pee back home with him in his pack - a four hour drive. The expression was priceless in seeing his dad's face when Jay told him that he'd toted the pee back in his pack. My husband and I just grinned, glad that for once the parental groaning was from someone other than us!